How Training for a Triathlon Changed My Life Forever

When I crossed the finish line, I broke down in tears.

The world had come to a standstill. And like everyone else trying to keep their sanity, I tried to keep mine by doing what I had always done — weightlifting. But that old repetitive action now felt more like pumping my ego as I pumped my muscles.

Resisting the temptation to stay with what was familiar, I reflected on my triathlon journey, which had its humble beginning in late 2019. Maybe I had forgotten about it. Maybe I buried the memory. Either way, it was time to bring the memory to the surface, as lessons had not yet been learned. Back then, I was competing solely for external validation, I decided to enter a sprint triathlon, mostly for a quick hit of adrenaline to temporarily overcome the emptiness I felt in the constant pursuit of big moments. The result? A broken bike and a jolted ego as a sixty-five-year-old woman passed me near the finish line. Sure, I walked — ok, limped-away with a participation medal around my neck. I felt like all the kids who receive awards for showing up — and then craft a new narrative to post their Insta-moment. But that photo op offered no solution to any of the psychological problems I was avoiding — and at the top of that list was self-worth.

I was a boomerang millennial living at my parents’ house. Near broke, recently broken up with, needing to find a sense of independence. I knew the time had come to stop making excuses for where I was in life and for my failures. I needed to own up to every single reason that I had failed to align my expectations with my actions, my ‘brand’ with my true achievements. I knew that I was responsible for where I ended up — deep in debt, alone, and dependent. I had to release the pain and the suffering to move forward. But, I had to locate the pain first in order for the healing to begin.

The triathlon starting line called me back, I just got up one day and I started to run. When I’d get home I’d look up videos for inspiration of people completing the Iron Man competition — from the “Iron Nun,” ninety one year old Sister Maddona Buder, to Chris Nikic, the first person with down syndrome to complete an Iron Man, and everyone in between. I fantasized about…

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