3 Falsehoods I Grew Up Believing

I think COVID-19 has made me even more introspective than usual. With less opportunities for new memories to be made, I find myself seeking refuge in old ones. What I find most striking are the ideas, mindsets, and modes of behavior that dominated my formative years but didn’t survive the jump to adulthood. It’s like being suddenly revisited by the ghostly visage of someone you saw die beside you in a horrible trench war many years ago- in this case the hairy, pimple-struck face of my high school self, circa the mid-2000's.

Today I’m going to write about what is my favorite type of post to read. I love seeing people examine their own personal history and offer up their findings for wider consideration, so that we can come to a greater understanding of ourselves. Whether it’s a private journal entry, a blog post, or a YouTube video, I think that it’s a very healthy exercise to undertake. For my own attempt, I’ve selected three beliefs I had as a teenager that I now consider false- even toxic. Hopefully they will resonate with some of you.

This particular mindset dominated my adolescence more than anything else. Although I didn’t consciously think or articulate it, I was of a belief back then that everyone belonged to categories that they couldn’t break out of. There were attractive people and ugly people, smart people and dumb people, confident people and shy people, et cetera. There was no nuance to my worldview, no wiggle room. If you were good at soccer, I believed, then it was because you had an inborn talent- not because you worked at your craft. I loved soccer, and I agonized over my lack of talent. Nothing would have been so sweet as getting the ball to do everything I wanted it to, gliding past defenders with ease and putting on a show. I loved drawing too, but I never tried to hone whatever natural ability I may or may not have had. Self-improvement was a waste of time. I didn’t believe in the idea of a craft. If it didn’t come naturally- and more to the point, easily- then I wasn’t interested. So I gave up on trying to draw pictures ever again. Every bone in my body resisted trying.

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