Three Traps for Personal Growth

Making a decision on personal growth and development is certainly a big step. Based on my experience both as a client and a life coach, I have identified 3 traps that can hinder self-development. I hope they will help you in your way.

1 ․ Self-deception instead of sincerity

Constantly avoiding the negative and being positive may be good for those around you, but not for yourself, at least in the long run. Everything in our psyche is two-dimensional, if we have chosen joy and pleasure, somewhere inside us we “have safely hidden” sadness and pain, if we have chosen peace, we have hidden anger, if we have chosen victory and success, we have hidden the fear of defeat and failure, if we have chosen the good and the right, then we have divided the world into good and bad, right and wrong, and we have hidden our “bad and wrong”.

In the process of self-development, our goal should be facing our nook carefully and gently, seeing ourselves as complete human beings, being honest and accepting the existence and the right of existence of our sadness and pain, anger and fear, mistake or failure, not deceiving ourselves by rejecting and hiding everything more deeply, by increasing the internal conflict.

2 ․ Fast results in less time

Self-development is a long, if not permanent, and continuous process. You can go that route on your own or you can choose the company of a coach or a psychologist. In any case, you must be ready for continuous work. Self-development should become your decision, your goal, your desire and your motivation.

Imagine how much time it took from you to shape your character and its limiting features, to strengthen your limiting decisions. So be prepared for taking time to make changes, to make more effective decisions for you.

3 ․ Guilt instead of love

During life coaching sessions, clients often accuse themselves of making limiting decisions when they were children. Or they blame their parents and other people because of whom they made this or that decision.

In both cases, the guilt is the first obstacle, the first limitation and the ban to self-development. Because if you admit that you are guilty, you also accept that you are not worthy, you have no right to change. The transformation, on the other hand, will be smoother if you are based on love for yourself, your parents and others.

You, as a child, cannot be blamed, because the decision made at that time corresponded to the situation at that time, to the information and opportunities you had at that time. At that time, that decision was the best and protected you. So be thankful and love yourself for it. It will help you to see more opportunities today to make a new, supportive decision in a new situation.

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